Unplanned pregnancy at age 18

abehegail
Dec 19, 2016
5 min read

In life we have plans for a lot of things. People plan out how each day will happen, each year and even down to the very clothing that they will wear each day. It is great to always have a plan in life. It helps to prevent a lot of chaos in life however sometimes in life everything that we plan out does not always work out the same way. I like to set plans/goals and try to follow as best as I can. It sometimes work out and it sometimes does not work out but that is alright. Twenty three years ago my plan was to first finish college, then get married and have children. Well, I must say my life plan went out of order and I got pregnant first before finishing college, then got married and had another child.

The Center for Disease and Control, "In 2014, almost 250,000 babies were born to women aged 15–19 years, for a birth rate of 24.2 per 1,000 women in this age group. This is another historic low, and a drop of 9% from 2013. Birth rates fell 11% for women aged 15–17 years, and 7% for women aged 18–19 years. While reasons for the declines are not clear, teens seem to be less sexually active, and more of those who are sexually active seem to be using birth control than in previous years". I was in my first year of college straight out of High School when I become a teenage mother. The pregnancy was unplanned for myself and my son's father at the time but we made the choice to have our child. Although, we both made that decision I told myself I would be able to stay in college and still be able to parent my son. As my pregnancy got further and further along I found myself having a hard time trying to balance pregnancy and college life. Morning sickness, ligament pains, body shame of myself and lack of motivation to get my assignments done piled up and caused declines in my grades. I just could not balance the two. I was not prepared for raising a baby and taking care of college work. I knew I needed to work but certainly not college work assignments. I needed a paid work to financial support my son. So shortly thereafter, I made the decision to put my educational goals on hold for motherhood.

My 1st born at 3 months old (Christmas 1993)

Mommy and son at age 5. (Christmas 1998). I took a picture of the original picture which was taken at Olan Mills Studios.

I knew I had to make a decision during my pregnancy to put my career goal on hold to take care of my son but it sure came with it's consequences. I found myself from one job to another. I went from cashier, home health aide, flight attendant and then dental assistant. As the saying says, I was a 'jack of all trades". But to put it in perspective I was bouncing from job to job "job instability" due to me becoming a mother at a young age and not finishing my educational goal at the time. Also, during my teenage pregnancy I did not document my pregnancy journey. I have absolutely no pictures of my then growing bump as I have with my second pregnancy at age 41. I did not take into consideration how precious it was at that time to have a tiny life growing inside of me. I did not see how precious childbearing was and how privileged I was to be able to give birth although my pregnancy was unplanned.

In spite of my unplanned pregnancy, I took extra great care of myself during my teenage pregnancy. I had a healthy diet, took my prenatal vitamins and went to all my prenatal care visits up until the day I gave birth. Before and after I gave birth to my son I made selfless sacrifices and commitments for him. I made the decision to bring a life into the world. A life that was totally dependent upon me for my care and guidance. It was no longer my needs to be met first but my son's needs. I eventually went back to my career goal of finishing college during my son later childhood days. In total 19 years went by when I finally completed my career goal and finished my University studies and it was also one year later after my son graduated High School. It took me a long time but I was happy to have gained that balance to have raised my son first, when I placed my educational goal on hold during my teenage pregnancy and beyond. I am happy I was able to do if for myself and my heartbeat, my first love, my first born, my son.

Mom and Son on his day of High School Graduation (Class of 2011)

Mom and son 19 years later. I did it! (M.A. Class of 2012).

Overall, teenage pregnancy is still high in the United States but has dropped over the years. Being a teenage parent sometimes you are often stereotype by some of your peers and adults. Over the years I have heard that teenage pregnancy affects only certain race, low income, single and/or non-religious families. I beg to differ. I grew up in a two-parent, middle income and religious family and that did not prevent me from becoming a teenage mother. Teenage pregnancy affects every race, class, socioeconomic and religious background. Even with preventive methods in place sex education classes, birth control and abstinence the number one prevention if all teenagers are able to do this. I myself did not practice abstinence and this resulted in my unplanned teenage pregnancy. So, if you are reading this blog post and find yourself or have a family member with an unplanned teenage pregnancy or even an adult pregnancy just know that your life or goals are not ruined. Some teens maybe able to balance their life goals and motherhood while others may not. Adjusting life to become a mother may cause some delayed goals but with determination and sacrifices one can and will accomplish their goals.

There are options that can help with accomplishing your life and goals if you chose not to or to be a teenage parent.

1). Having a good support of family and friends. My parents and five siblings were very supportive and a few friends too.

2). Adoption is always another option even after having a child and you decide that you are still not able to care for your child.

3). Foster Care and I know many have heard negative aspects to foster care system but from my past work experiences with foster care there are pros and cons. Certainly the pros out weigh the cons and in today's society there are doctors, lawyers, actors, actresses and athletes and more that can attest to what it was like in foster care.

4). Abortion which some individuals may chose to do. I am about life and there are so many families that are unable to have biological children of their own. Give life to others!

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